Taking Over Me
by ashleyjskywalker
Summary: Songfic for Evanescence's "Taking Over Me." Set Between 4x13 and 4x15. Oneshot.


And thus I prove to myself that I can still write in third person. Inspired by me finding the Evanescence CD that I haven't listened to in five years or so. Enjoy.

* * *

_You don't remember me, but I remember you._

He thinks the two of them must be the punchline of the universe's biggest joke, and wonders if they'll ever get the chance to just be _happy._

He wonders if he'll ever get the chance to have a relationship with her in which he isn't torn away again, isn't deceived into betraying her, or doesn't break her heart because he's afraid to believe that she's the Olivia he knows and loves.

_I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you. But who can decide what they dream? And dream I do..._

This would be easier, she reflects, if the Cortexiphan coursing through her veins gave her some degree of control over her subconscious, let her decide what she dreamed of while she slept.

Because at least then she wouldn't see his face all night, wouldn't be haunted him, wouldn't be taunted by whatever deity is orchestrating all of this with what she obviously is not allowed to have. Does her dream of her? Or is she just a specter to him, a reminder of everything that's been ripped away from him?

_I believe in you; I'll give up everything just to find you._

He has to believe that there is a way home, that there is a way back to where he belongs, cannot let himself give up on trying to find it. Because his resolve is weakening- she looks like his Olivia, talks like his Olivia, wears that same haunted expression about her eyes that his Olivia has. And all he wants to do is hold her close and soothe her worries away, but he cannot, will not, break both of their hearts and betray her again.

_I've got to be with you- to live, to breathe, you're taking over me._

She can still feel the desperation that came cascading out of her when she tried to tell him she remembered everything, tried to tell him she was in love with him and she _needed_ him, can still feel her heart breaking all over again as he turned and walked away and left her there. She doesn't know what to do now- what good are a lifetime of memories if no one else remembers them and the one person who _does_ wants nothing to do with her?

_Have you forgotten all I know, and all we had?_

All he can think of is when she crossed universes just to tell him that he belonged with her, the look on her face when he told her of his unwitting betrayal, the way his heart leapt into his throat that night that she came over to his house and kissed him and let him show her what a relationship between them could mean. He wants it all back, so badly.

Is this the universe's way of taunting him? That he should be thrown back into existence in a world where no one knows him, a world where his adult self doesn't even _exist,_ only to have her suddenly remember _everything_ about a life that she should have no knowledge of?

Or maybe... just maybe... This is a sign from whatever higher power there is that they are meant to be together.

He almost doesn't dare to hope.

_You saw me mourning my love for you, and touched my hand. I knew you loved me then..._

That last case took more out of her than she cared to admit to anyone, and she couldn't deny that it struck a chord deep within her. That every one of those couples lost their lives simply because they loved someone else...

But at least they'd had a chance to.

She's considering drinking herself to sleep, that night, just to see if it'll keep her from dreaming, keep her from seeing his face and being reminded of how much she's given up for what she cannot have. But what she sees when he gets out of her car stops her in her tracks, killing her train of thought as she wonders if she's already dreaming.

Because he's standing there on the steps to her apartment building waiting for her, _that_ look on his face- the one that was always just for her, the way he smiled more with his eyes than anything else, though it always ghosted down to his lips.

_I look in the mirror and see your face, if I look deep enough. So many things inside that just like you are taking over..._

After all of those weeks of living in her dreams, of appearing to Walter in every reflective surface the man saw... He almost threw his second chance at existence away, almost ran away from the only woman he'd ever truly loved, almost lost her due to his own inability to see what was standing right in front of him. Again.

At least September had set him straight before he'd done more damage than he would've been able to heal.

_I believe in you... I'll give up everything just to find you. I've got to be with you. To live, to breathe, you're taking over me._

She determines that this time, no matter what they face, she will not lose him again. Not to herself, not to the machine, not to the Observers. Because even as an echo of a past life, she can remember that empty feeling inside of herself, the feeling that something precious to her was _missing _and there was nothing she could do about it. And she will fight until her last breath for him, because he is everything.

* * *

So. There's that. This might be my last one until I finally get to see season five (Read: until the bastards at Netflix put it back up on September 12th after dangling it in front of me for all of three hours and then taking it back down) since the plot bunnies seem to have abandoned me for the moment and I've been working on a piece of original fiction that I wrote as well. But never fear, I shall return. :)


End file.
